THE SURROGACY EXPERIENCE: A HEART-TO-HEART WITH A REMARKABLE SURROGATE

Surrogacy—a profound path to parenthood—has gained significant attention and understanding in recent times. Celebrities like the Kardashians, Anderson Cooper, Andy Cohen, and Chrissy Teigen and John Legend have openly shared their surrogacy experiences, shedding light on the emotional and personal aspects of this remarkable path. In this heartfelt conversation, we delve into the world of surrogacy through the eyes of a remarkable woman named Jane. Jane and I met as fellow dance moms (don’t worry, we are pretty low-key and we don’t get into fights like on the Dance Moms show). When we became friends, she was pregnant with her final surrogacy pregnancy. I wanted to share Jane’s story with you all because it is an incredible insight into what a surrogate goes through.

Jane is a loving mother who, through surrogacy, has brought immeasurable joy to the lives of intended parents (also known as IPs). Her path into surrogacy began years ago when she felt a deep calling to make a difference and assist others in their quest for parenthood. She waited until her own family felt complete before selflessly assisting others on their parenthood missions.

Jane's Personal Story:

"I heard about surrogacy when I was 19 and it was always something I felt drawn to do," Jane shares. She embarked on her first surrogacy adventure after her daughter was born, initiating a process that would ultimately change her life. Her story is a tapestry of resilience, compassion, and a deep desire to make a difference in the lives of IPs.

Her initial surrogacy experience came with unexpected twists and turns, including a chemical pregnancy and a failed transfer. Yet, her spirit remained unbroken. "The path wasn't exactly as we thought it would go, but it was still so incredible," she reflects.

Guidance for Aspiring Surrogates: Emotional and Physical Preparedness:

"Take your time matching; you will find your perfect match," Jane advises. She emphasizes the importance of emotional preparedness, self-care, and building a robust support system. "Really advocate for yourself in sticking to what you think is important in your matching criteria. Don't be afraid to stand your ground," she advises. Jane also stresses the importance of taking care of mental health and ensuring a large support system.

The Highs and Lows:

For Jane, the highs of surrogacy were profoundly moving, particularly witnessing the joy of a new mother seeing her baby for the first time. "With my first surrogacy, it was seeing the mom's face when she got to see her baby for the first time," she shared, highlighting the fulfillment of completing a family.

Building Trust and Understanding: Intended Parents’ Role:

Jane highlights the importance of trust, support, and understanding from IPs. She recounts a touching moment from her first surrogacy, "The intended mom asked me what I would have done; she said I had done it 4 times, and all my babies were happy and healthy. That show of trust was so special and important to me," emphasizing the mutual respect necessary for a successful surrogacy experience.

Essential Qualities for Intended Parents: Trust, Support, and Understanding:

Jane emphasizes that intended parents should trust the surrogate and be willing to relinquish some control. "Compassion, trust, and understanding are key qualities needed in intended parents," she explains, stressing the importance of recognizing surrogates as individuals with their own families and lives.

Conclusion: Jane’s story offers a glimpse into the emotional and personal aspects of this unique path to parenthood, providing invaluable insights and advice for those considering surrogacy. As someone with a background as a postpartum nurse and a seasoned guide in surrogacy and infertility challenges, I understand the unique challenges and joys that come with surrogacy. My coaching services are tailor-made to provide you with the knowledge, tools, and unwavering support needed to navigate your distinct surrogacy experience with confidence and grace.

Reflect on what surrogacy means to you or your family. Consider jotting down your thoughts or goals, and remember, my goal worksheets included with coaching sessions can guide you further. Whether you are an intended parent or a potential surrogate, my coaching services are designed to support, guide, and empower you throughout this incredible experience. Discover the difference of personalized coaching and take the first step towards a supported and fulfilling pregnancy, postpartum or infertility experience.